Grief

               Late the next morning, Admiral Archer knocked at the door of Kellam and Riaan’s home. He didn’t know what was about to happen, but he was tired, hungry, and emotionally drained. And yet, there was another unpleasant assignment ahead of him. He’d done it before, and hated it every time. Telling someone their family was destroyed ground against his heart personally, but this time…

               “Jon! What … what are you doing here? Where’s everyone else?”

               “Did you hear about…?”

               “Come in, Jon, please,” Riaan said, taking Jonathan by the hand and pulling him indoors. She looked down at the hand she touched and saw the cuts and caked mud. She looked hard at his face, saw the gash on his forehead that damaged his cosmetic surgery. Dry scrapes and abrasions confirmed injuries suffered a few days earlier. He’d been wearing the same clothes for two days. She reached for his face. “What happened?”

               “Riaan,” Jonathan started, but the words wouldn’t come. She hadn’t heard yet. “I… I have to tell you something.” She ushered him to a soft chair, then kneeled to face him. She touched the healing laceration above his eye that should have been a bony crest but instead was smooth underneath.

               “Jon?”

               “Riaan, you know I’m not from your world, you know that.”

               “I remember. I just never thought you didn’t look like us. How did you get hurt? Let me get you something for that.”

               “Riaan,” he said, catching her by the hand so she wouldn’t leave him alone. “You haven’t heard, have you? Where’s Brannigaan?”

               “Branni? He’s in school just like every day. Jon, what is going on? What’s wrong?” Her voice tensed. She was more than just concerned for his well being. He held her hand a little tighter.

               “There was a bomb of some kind at Reactor Two, three days ago. A terrorist or saboteur; they don’t know but to say it was horror is an understatement.”

               Her eyes widened, and started to glaze a little as she stared at Jon’s face. His expression softened with grief but he promised himself that he wouldn’t let her carry the pain alone.

               “The explosion shut down the reactor. Everything was on fire, the windows blew out. The whole city is dark--“

               “Where’s Kellam?!” Her voice wavered with panic. “Is he okay?” The soft smile vanished, the velvet eyes glassed over.

               “Kellam…” Admiral Archer had done it before. He’d given the same bad news to a dozen families, probably more. It was a duty he hated as captain. “Kellam was … trapped when the fire suppression system ignited. The doors locked him in.”

“Is he alright?!” She placed both her hands on Jonathan's chest.

“He was killed, Riaan. I’m so sorry. I’m, I’m so sorry.” The image of Kellam on the monitor reaching for the door was forever seared in his mind. And he slammed the button to close that very door.

               Riaan sat back down on the floor, crushed by the weight of Jonathan’s message. She covered her face with her hands. In between short shallow breaths uncontrollable tears trundled down her cheeks and face. Jonathan slid off the chair and joined her on the floor, pulling her close to absorb some of her pain. She took his empathy, leaning into him and burying her face on his chest.

               “No… no… no,” came a muffled voice. “I loved him, Jon. I loved him.”

               “I know, Riaan, I know you did. He was a good man. A good man,” he whispered, stroking her hair as if that might erase some of the pain. Riaan almost screamed with sobs, unable to catch her breathe. Jon pushed her away, moving her body a little to be sure some air would get in her lungs. He took her face in his hands to give her some of his strength. A moment later the tears stopped. A moment after that, a new wave of sorrow gripped her, and the storm returned again. After an hour, or maybe it was longer, Riaan had nothing left: nothing left to feel, no tears to cry, no words to say.

               Jonathan picked her up in his arms as he’d done long ago once before and carried her to her bed, placing her down as if she were made of glass. And at that moment she was transparent, fragile, and empty. Before he could say a word to her she was asleep from emotional exhaustion. He looked around and found a woolen blanket, covered her gently, swept a strand of hair off her face, and left the room.

               The shuttle was at least a 2 hour walk, maybe father. He thought perhaps he should wait until Riaan woke up before he left. The thoughts raced in his head. For the first time in almost 3 days he sat quietly in a chair listening to his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. He caught himself falling asleep and stood up. In the little kitchen he found a water pump at the edge of a hammered copper basin. A window looked out on the herb garden. Sunlight poured on the unusual plants. Although cool outside, it was cheery, not smoky or damp.

               Archer shifted into admiral mode. He picked up some small split logs and added them to the central fireplace in the home. As the flames grew he had a brief moment at the reactor. He shook that out of his head and picked up a small twig with a robust flame and returned to the kitchen. It wasn’t hard to start a fire in the kitchen fireplace, a stone and mortar hole in the wall with a floor level hearth that vented through a chimney. While the fire grew, he filled the largest metal pot he could find with water, and then set placed it on the hook in the flames to heat up.

               Archer dug his communicator out of a pocket and signaled Ensign Samuels. He signaled a second time.

               “Samuels,” came her voice over the com. “Admiral?”

               “Yes, I haven’t gotten to the shuttle yet. I wanted to check in. What’s your status?”

               “The robots are bringing the bodies out, taking them to the field on north of the generator complex. Laskin went back to the field hospital a little while ago. It’s all about damage control now.”

               “Any signs of Tellarites?”

               “No, sir.”

               “Where are you now?”

               “I’m meeting with Marandola at the University. Should be interesting.”

               “Anyone looking for me?”

               “Actually, Marandola wanted to meet with you, sir, but I told her you went home, to our home in the country. You may want to return soon before she sends a konji cart for you.”

               “Electricity up?”

               “Not by a longshot, sir. Probably three months, they expect. Three Akalli months. I don’t think there’s any rush for you to return. Has our mission changed?”

               “We still need to find out exactly what the hell is going on here. Take a second look for references to Thulium when you get to the University”.

               “Aye, sir,”

               “Archer out.”